Beer is the news

Story of the week has to be BrewDog's brilliantly conceived beer vote in which the Ellon punks invited their followers to design their next beer. That's right, over a week, and using the phrase #Mashtag, Twitter users were each day asked to choose key elements of the new beer.

Here're the results, and they look pretty damned tasty: 
Monday: Beer Style - Brown Ale.
Tuesday: Malt Bill & ABV - American Brown Ale at 7.5% ABV
Wednesday: Hops & IBU - New Zealand Hops and 95 IBU
Thursday: Special Twist - adding Hazelnuts and oak chips
Friday: Name -  #Mashtag

You should check out the BrewDog blog. As well as seeing the other options for each day, you get an idea of how all these flavours and methods work together, with good explanations on the brewing processes. Anyway, as a final twist BrewDog are also letting folks design the label. Plan is they'll start brewing very, very soon, with the first batch ready in about a month.

Anyway, it was a beautiful stunt, got a good hit online and in papers, and was in keeping with BrewDog's off-the-wall modus operandi. I'm sure it'll be lovely, but my worry is that, given the British electorate's tendency for blinkered stupidity, that the beer will be as uninspiring and unpalatable as our current government. Thank goodness then that craft beer drinkers aren't as braindead as the majority of UK voters. 

Also newsworthy, Munro's in Glasgow had their official opening, and I got leathered. Highlights were the Arbor Oyster Stout and Redchurch's Bethnel Pale Ale. 

And, finally, Cheerless News of the Week is how George Osborne became posterboy for British beer drinkers by giving the industry a mediocre tax break and removing a much-hated duty escalator that was generally considered to be the chief cause of thousands of pub closures.

In the following article, Camra chief executive Mike Benner said: "The Chancellor has become the toast of Britain's cash-strapped beer drinkers and we should now be paying around 10p less per pub pint than we would have been had the escalator remained in place in last week's Budget. This is a massive victory for Britain's 15 million beer drinkers."

I have not and will not be toasting Mr Osborne, and, frankly, I'd quite happily keep paying that 10p. I think on a ten-pint bender I can afford to waste another pound. Drinkers in dire poverty will be pleased, no doubt. Shame about the axe in welfare, social fund and council tax benefits, the imposition of the bedroom tax, removal of legal aid, tax credit reduction, public sector cuts, etc. 

What is worth raising a glass to is Mr Osborne's economy-salving decision to reduce the tax bill faced by millionaires. It's this kind of forward-thinking, groundbreaking vision that'll have this economy restored in no time - and the guy's not even an economist!! My millionaire beer-drinking readers out there, I trust YOU will be raising two glasses to Mr Osborne. 

Now, it really is good that the duty escalator has been removed, following hearty campaigning by Camra et al, and thousands of pub closures and job losses. Call me cynical, but I think this only happened because the duty escalator was starting to affect some of the larger breweries' bottom line. Maybe one of their non-exec board members went to the same school as Mr Osborne, maybe he had a wee word over dinner. Anyway, I hope he's toasting Mr Osborne. He can certainly afford to. 

Tryst in me, Part II: Cascade hop

Tryst Hop Trials: Cascade

I may have mentioned that battle-hardened Falkirk brewery Tryst had started up a sideline in hop cage-fighting, called Hop Wars. 

Last post I previewed Amarillo. Here's a review of its rival Cascade, also 5% ABV. 

It too had a strong hoppy nose, this time with hints of spice coming through. I found it a beautiful, hoppy, fresh, inviting aroma. 

It poured golden and cloudy with a decent enough head that was pushing towards creaminess. Wee bit of sediment from it being bottle conditioned.  

Tastewise, it had a delicious tart bitterness that carried citrus hints, pine and grapefruit in the back of the mouth.

Would hoppily have again. 

Tryst in me, Part I: Amarillo hop

Tryst Brewery's Amarillo beer.

Tryst Brewery in Falkirk is doing this fantastic thing at the moment for craft beer converts. They're producing bottles of single hop beers. They call this series Hop Trials, but I think Hop Wars would be a better bit of marketing. Anyway, it all means you can try a beer and get to know what flavour of hop you're drinking. You can compare two or three to get a sense of the variety of hop flavours. But remember, these are SINGLE-HOPPED BOTTLES. That means there's been no fancy mixing to see which hop goes with what hop. Tonight ladies and laddies, this is Singles Night.

So, I pulled an Amarillo. It's the one in the picture, see. It's sharp and pungent on the nose. Strong too, with a foosty bitterness.

On the pour, this bottle-conditioned beer offered up a tonne of carbonation with a good lingering head. Pale gold and clear it was too. The photo makes it look darker than it was.

Has a strong malty biscuit flavour, I thought, and an earthy yeastiness, with the Amarillo bringing hints of citrus and sweet orange. Texture was smooth and velvety, and on the swallow, a dry yet tangy bitterness. ABV was 5%.

Nae bad at all.

Fool's Gold

You can keep your flowery bathwater. 

Loch Lomond Gold really is disappointment in a bottle. It's by TSA, who should know better 'cause they brew a tonne of beers for other microbreweries - including the mighty Fallen - but their golden ale is like perfumed bathwater (see right).

You know what it made me think of? Slices of lime in bottles of insipid Mexican beer. It's an entry level craft beer for people who like shoving waxed fruit down their long-necks. 

I drank Gold last Thursday on my fairly regular Beer and Boardgames night. (I'm gonna do a long, long post about boardgames and beer, but in the meantime I just wanted - no, needed - to share with you how mediocre TSA's Gold is.) I thought it might have been rubbish because I was playing rubbish or because the beer wasn't fresh out the fridge, but I'm having another bottle RIGHT now. It's cold, I'm winning (kids in bed) but it's still packed with citrus floral nonsense. It's in a different shaped glass too, so this taste test can't be more scientific. 

BTW TSA also did a Rabbie Burns beer a wee while back. I don't remember hating that when I tried it.

I also had a Hobgoblin amber too, which I liked. But my top beer that night was the sexy-looking O6 Porter by Otley Brewing Company. Not my favourite porter by a long way, but it had enough of the right flavours and texture and strength (6.6%) to have me all mournful when I got to the end of the glass. That and the fact I was losing to my father in law. 

Anyway, big, beautiful boardgame post to come. You have been warned.   

Beer is the News

News of the week has to be the Budget announcement by economic whizzkid George Osborne that beer duty is to be reduced by 1p. From today. Wow, that's brilliant news, isn't it? It's this kind of out-the-box forward thinking that sets our visionary Chancellor apart from all his predecessors (and the guy's not even a trained economist!). I've no doubt that this groundbreaking initiative will restore our beleaguered economy. 

There was also some noise about a duty escalator getting axed as well. Not sure what all the fuss was about but let's hope it stops those struggling publicans and brewers whining about going to the wall, the demise of the pub, jobs going, collapse of communities, end of civilisation...

Anyway, it's all pretty meaningless. What isn't meaningless is the revelation from premier beer blogger The Beer Cast that Forth Bridge Brewery is gonna using crowd-funding to get the kegs rolling at its Inverkeithing venture.

Iron Maiden launched their own beer. This story's so old and naff if you want to know more look it up yerself. 

Not a week goes by without Arran Breweries being in the news. This time it's a story about how they plan to take over the world by exporting their expertise and recipes rather than bottles of beer brewed in Scotland. Marvellous.

News that a superbrewer is buying up all the Scottish barley caused some alarm in The Herald.

And finally a whole clutch of Scottish breweries won top accolades at awards hosted by Society of Independent Brewers, including Orkney Brewery, Highland Brewery, Fyne Ales, Cairngorm, and Williams.  Full list here.

Hula Hops: A Postcard from Hawaii

Maui Brewing Co's Coconut Porter 

Dear Mum and Dad,

How are you? Hope youse are well. 

Things are great here in Hawaii. I’m having a real awesome time.

I’ve learnt to surf, do the hula, and I’ve seen where Barack Obama was born. Right now I’m sitting in a bayside beer supping on a Maui Coconut Porter. That’s right Dad, a coconut-flavoured porter! They were out of heavy - I did ask.

Beer is the news

Black Isle Cold Turkey

Blimey, story of the week has to be the international outrage at the truly irresponsible creation of a - mother of all evils - low alcohol breakfast beer by those Taliban-loving brewers Black Isle.

In a move which has done more for global insecurity than Kim Jong-un letting his toddler do his colouring-in on the country's non-aggression pacts, Black Isle have begun selling a weak, hoppy craft beer, targeting hardened alcoholics, nightshift workers, over-indulgers and early risers. 

Beer is the News

Petra Wetzel. Image: Kirsty Anderson/Newsquest

For reasons I can't yet fathom, Arran Brewery's plans to open a bottling plant in Falkirk are dashed due to the Scottish Government declining to fund them a paltry £1million. Tight arses. Arran said this was a major blow, and although the jobs that won't be created would have been in that hotbed of employment, Falkirk, it could in fact jeopardise the 20 or so jobs on Arran: without a drop in operational costs (from the bottling plant), the rise in duty as a result of Arran's merger with the Isle of Skye brewery could push their margins from tiny to negligible to even negative. Ouch.

I don't know. Is this a hint of a sea change in the support for wee breweries in Scotland, which in recent  years has seen a spate of new ones come online and more established ventures grow? Or has Arran gone too far or too quick? Maybe they pissed off some bureaucrat in the poetically named Food Processing, Marketing and Co-operation department. Maybe they didnae fill in the form right.

Who knows.

Anyhow, the Brew Gods are still shining on BrewDog, whose funding model is clearly very different to Arran's. The Ellon Mavericks have just announced more growth, more expansion and more jobs. Blimey.

Meanwhile, darling of the bier world, Petra Wetzel, of West Brewery in Glasgow, goes head to head in an insightful, and rather personal, interview with The Herald's Susan Swarbrick. She's currently reading the painfully over-rated Life of Pi and includes Neil Diamond among her favourite artistes. Check out the article for more insights into lager's leading lady.

Going, Going, Gunn

I mind years ago, some influential barmaid on my life telling me that if you have a good time somewhere, whether it's Skye or Ibiza or wherever, you should never go back cause if you do it'll be shit.

I think there's truth in that but ... aw jeez, I'm trying to write a beer review here.

It's been an odd week. Not shit; different. I've been back working for the Sunday Herald newspaper this past week. Bit of a nostalgia trip, but anyway, on to Innis & Gunn.

I used to work with somebody at Waterstone's called Innis. Possibly Innes. He smoked and had teeth missing and was possibly a former junkie, knew too much about books and complimented my jumper too many times for comfort. He could be difficult though I kinda liked him. I think he was from the Black Isle. I knew a Maria Gunn from high school. I don't know if she's alive or dead or married someone called Innes.

Innis and Miss Gunn don't fit into this narrative by the way, and if space were an issue a decent sub would wheech that bit out.

I had one and half bottles of Innis and Gunn's flagship wonder Original tonight. I drank them towards the end of my 12-hour Saturday shift at the Sunday Herald. Years ago, we'd abeen over the Station Bar pouring as much beer as we could down our necks in two hours as was possible. Actually, years ago 12-hour shifts were normal.

The beer:

Aye, it's a paltry 6.6%, and sweet, amberish in colour. You can taste the vanilla and the toffee - I thought caramel - so the blurb on the bottle has some truth in it.

Truth is: it was too sweet for me darling. Aftertaste had a bit of a spirit sensation. And not in a good way, though I kinda liked it. Like an echo of a memory of poteen. Is it possible to dislike a beer you liked? Or like a beer you didn't like?

Honestly though, I wouldn't choose to buy this. Wasn't for me. Sorry Innis from Black Isle and Maria who might be dead but is probably married.

Cracking open the Skull Splitter

Nae use for stripping paint.

It was Up Helly Aa yesterday, so I figured to helly aa with this sodding drinking ban. And although it's from a different Viking archipelago to the firey insanity in Shetland, I chose Skull Splitter by Orkney Brewery to be my first new beer of 2013.

It's robust and rich and sweet and dark; there was bloomin' loads going on in that glass. Loads. And all of it good. In a Pepsi Challenge between Tennent's Supey and paint-stripper, Skull Splitter wins every time. By a bloody axe head.

I mentioned before the nonsense they wrote on the label about dates and figs and dried fruits and molasses, but this beer, this mighty, Viking beer was way more flavoursome, way more complex, way more tasty than I ever expected. I should probably give their marketing folks a wee bit more slack ...

... cause you know what? It was delicious. It was fruity and spicy and deep and sexy. At 8.5%, it wasn't asking to be gulped down (and after a meagre 29 days off the drink I was wanting to gulp). It was wanting savoured. It was wanting a bit of attention. It was wanting made love to slowly.

Skull Splitter, it's my first nomination for Beer of the Year.

Washed down by a good helping of Highland Park.

Twistedmouth's Beer Blog - How you can get involved!

It's not me, it's you. 

I've made a decision. It's likely my last one of January and it's a blooming blinder. It's probably the best decision of 2013 to date, and even though it's not yet February, it'll surely be a contender for Best Decision of 2013. (Betcha can't wait for those awards to swing round.)

Ready?

Here goes:

This site should not just be about me and what I drink with silly musings and whinges and that. No, it should be about you. Yes, you.

So, I've been thinking about how I can get YOU involved in what is quickly becoming one of the best read and critically acclaimed beer blogs in the history of the internet, past present and future. But instead of thinking about me, I've been thinking about you. Yes, you. Yes, I've been thinking about how to get YOU involved and I've finally figured it out.

Sure, you can leave comments and Like on Facebook and retweet on Twitter and sign up with your email and share with the Google + thing and do all the other really cool social media stuff that you can do. And please do. But that's so ... 2012.

So here's the 2013 way you can become involved in this site AND help Scotland's beautiful craft beer industry AND kickstart our triple-dipshit economy. That's right, I'm going to reveal how you can be the saviour of humanity.

Ready?

Here goes:

You decide what beers I'll be drinking this year.

Isn't that brilliant?!

All you have to do is choose your beer and send the money, via PayPal or postage cheque, to Hippo Beers and I'll just nip along, pick the choice beer up, and drink it for you. In fact, you don't even have to choose. You can just send the money and let the guys in the shop choose for you. Yes, you! I think it's a stormer of an idea, and the best thing is, everyone wins.

Isn't that brilliant?

Kill List

Last post I mentioned a couple of daft decisions I'd made recently. Starting a blog about beer and then pledging to not drink for 31 ever-lengthening days is probably one of the daftest decisions I've ever made. I may have mentioned how fun it's been.

But it means I've had time to think about what beers I want to try, and about what I want to do with this site. I've put together a Kill List of beers I'm going to try on or after February 1st.

Top of the Twistedmouth Kill List is Skull Splitter by Orkney Brewery. On the back it says:

Skull Splitter is our strongest ale: which is named after Thorfinn Einarsson who was the 7th Viking Earl of Orkney. Sophisticated, satiny smooth with a deceptively light character, it is a tribute to our colourful forbear. On the nose, this strong beer has a fruity malt character, with hints of dark fruit, spicy hop, dates and figs. On the palate, rich and complex with sweet toasted malt, molasses, fresh and dried fruit and hints of warming spices.

Molasses and figs. That's beautifully over the top for a beer that's 8.5% and is surely going to make my eyes water and leave me with some sort of UTI. I'm half thinking about getting a can of Tennent's Supey and some paint-stripper and doing a wee Pepsi challenge or something ...

Next is a strong stout by Tempest, a Morello Cresta 4 grain stout. I bought this purely for the lo-fi, hand-printed label. I love that. It's 7.0%. A session ale for Borders folk then.

What else?

Well, I got me a Cromarty Brewed Awakening, recommended by my new beer chum Magnus, who has his own beer blog (far, far superior to this one). He also suggested Cromarty's Red Rock and Tempest's Cresta Black and Red Eye Flight, but I didn't see them in my last visit to Hippo Beers. Ho hum, next time.

And just before you start thinking I can't think for myself, I've also included West's St Mungo's lager cause it's my local brewery. And a Dragonfly amber ale from Fallen Brewing Co, cause it's from near where I grew up and not because it has a nice label and a dragon in the title, oh no.

Now, a wee clarification: as well as dumbass decisions, my last post may have falsely given the impression that this January has just been a series of loathsome days that have been relentlessly tiresome, each one more miserable than the last, apart from two auspicious days. This is not true; a couple of other great things have happened.

My wife and I learnt how to play Netrunner. And Utopia happened.

Happy (late) Burns Day.

January, a right barrel of laughs

Tough Mudder looks really, really fun.
You get a beer after it though. 

January. It's a long month, a loathed month, a month for daft decisions and foolish promises. A month of broken toys and lost receipts. Thirty-one long days - each one longer than the last - overflowing with misery, regret and pain.

There are two good days in January: my daughter's birthday and the 31st. The other 29 are just passing time, waiting for better weather, longer days; days long enough so either your commute to work or journey home will be in something resembling daylight. 

In the 21 lengthening days of January endured so far, I have:

• Pledged to stay off the drink until February.
• Pledged to do the Tough Mudder ordeal in August.

Both very, very dumb.

Aye, this dry January's a right barrel of fucking laughs.

Please, tell me, I really want to know, what stupidity have you soiled your 2013 with?

A Dry January? No Joker

It's January 1st. New Year's Day, 2013. Happy new year!

This day two years ago I gave up boozing for a month. A whole month. January has 31 days by the way. Thirty-one long days.

In truth, aside from one hideous networking event I had to attend and couldn't hide myself in drunken oblivion, it was fine. In fact, by February, I felt pretty damn amazing.

So, once again, for January, I'm abstaining from beer, wine and whisky. No joke, nor any Joker IPA until February. That's 31 days. Thirty-one long days.

I pretty much adore all of Williams Brothers' beers, but their Joker IPA was one I'd somehow missed ... until I unwrapped my present from my daughter on Christmas Day.

It's a fine, fruity IPA that's packed with flavour. A pleasant, citrus sweetness, with malty and hoppy goodness. Complex and delicious. In all honestly, I think I preferred the Alechemy Cairnapple IPA, but the difference in enjoyment was marginal.

Would very hoppily have again.