Some beers from the United States of Scotland

Blackwoods Bastard.

Scottish people in America are bigger than Scottish people in Scotland. The only short Scottish people in America are the scrawny wiry ones who pull buses with their testicles if they lose at arm wrestling, usually to tall Scottish people who get buses to move just by staring at them menacingly. It's the water.

So it's unsurprising that Heavy and Scotch Ale in the US look that wee bit bigger Stateside. Just look at this list of Scotch Ales from Paste magazine.

These are session ales for monsters, with the weakest at a pathetic 6.6%. A breakfast beer then. Nice to see Orkney, Innis & Gunn and Traquair featuring ... Also imported from this side of the ocean was a Scottish Belgium McChouffe.

And if you were in any doubt about the dark, heavy character and marketing of these beers, just look at the names: the words bastard, claymore, Pipers, Commando, splitter, skull are all there. Bastard twice. And there's no shortage of weapons, either. Bloke on the winning bottle looks a pleasant sort of bloke, though you widnae slag off his homebrew, would you?

Beer is the news

The Vintage. Crafty new pub in Leith.

Camra have done it again with the jaw-dropping news that the average pint has now topped £3, and in Scotland is a whopping £3.24. Blimey. So, err, I’ve been paying over the average for quite some time now, and have been subsidising some layabout beer scrounger for a considerably long time. But I don’t mind, really. In swell pubs such as Munro’s or Inn Deep you are going to pay more for a decent pint, real, craft or whatever. And you know what, it’s worth it. Paying more than £4 for a pint of generic lager in a poxy, soulless Ashton Lane premises-cum-cinema, however, gets me choking on my dishwater.

But my story of the week is the news that drinking beer makes you want to drink MORE beer. This in-depth and scientifically vital study of 49 male drinkers found that just the very taste of beer makes you want to taste MORE beer. It also - and you better sit down for this - found that having a history of alcoholism in the family, makes YOU more likely to want to take a drink.

Huffington Post made an international public apology

for doubting the magnificence of Crabbie's Ginger Beer.

West Brewery launched a stout. Innis & Gunn launched a lager (and called for more unity among micro-brewers). And BrewDog launched their Fake Lager to take on the dishwater hegemony.

And finally, new craft beer pub The Vintage opened in Leith, Edinburgh. Great news. Good luck guys!

  

Beer is the News

Munro's in Glasgow. Just opened. 

In Glasgow, new bar Munro's has finally opened on Great Western Road. It's putting itself out there as a craft beer bar, so I'm greatly looking forward to getting along and sampling the cask ales they've got on offer. Their website's not doing much, but their Facebook and Twitter chat is a bit more lively. Good luck guys. 

PR super agent and micro-berwer Seb Jones of Speyside Craft Brewery got himself in the pages of The Herald AND the Forres Gazette with the news he's launching a Save the Dolphins-type ale. If you drink enough of their Bottlenose Bitter, it says on the label, you turn into some sort of James Bond meets John McClane eco-warrior. Or maybe profits to charity or something. Read about it here, here or here. 

Meanwhile, those beer nuts at Inveralmond got a bit of a write-up in The Courier for getting a six-figure funding boost from, err, oh, the article didn't say. Well, this, err, six-figure investment should afford a wee bit of expansion, both in capacity and in export markets. Great stuff.

Then there was this little ditty in The Herald about Houston hostelry Fox and the Hounds landing a deal with a major upmarket national deli chain to stock their rather drinkable Crystal beer. Aldi wants 7000 bottles of the stuff. Not bad at all. 

Finally, there's the splendid announcement that The Herald and Sunday Herald are to host a craft ale event on Sunday, March 24th. Kicks off in Citation in Glasgow at around noon, and lasts four or five hours. The do has someone speaking at it. You get lunch AND beer. You also get to tug on the beards of brewers from Alechemy, Eden, Innis & Gunn, and Loch Fyne. Tickets are £30.

Going, Going, Gunn

I mind years ago, some influential barmaid on my life telling me that if you have a good time somewhere, whether it's Skye or Ibiza or wherever, you should never go back cause if you do it'll be shit.

I think there's truth in that but ... aw jeez, I'm trying to write a beer review here.

It's been an odd week. Not shit; different. I've been back working for the Sunday Herald newspaper this past week. Bit of a nostalgia trip, but anyway, on to Innis & Gunn.

I used to work with somebody at Waterstone's called Innis. Possibly Innes. He smoked and had teeth missing and was possibly a former junkie, knew too much about books and complimented my jumper too many times for comfort. He could be difficult though I kinda liked him. I think he was from the Black Isle. I knew a Maria Gunn from high school. I don't know if she's alive or dead or married someone called Innes.

Innis and Miss Gunn don't fit into this narrative by the way, and if space were an issue a decent sub would wheech that bit out.

I had one and half bottles of Innis and Gunn's flagship wonder Original tonight. I drank them towards the end of my 12-hour Saturday shift at the Sunday Herald. Years ago, we'd abeen over the Station Bar pouring as much beer as we could down our necks in two hours as was possible. Actually, years ago 12-hour shifts were normal.

The beer:

Aye, it's a paltry 6.6%, and sweet, amberish in colour. You can taste the vanilla and the toffee - I thought caramel - so the blurb on the bottle has some truth in it.

Truth is: it was too sweet for me darling. Aftertaste had a bit of a spirit sensation. And not in a good way, though I kinda liked it. Like an echo of a memory of poteen. Is it possible to dislike a beer you liked? Or like a beer you didn't like?

Honestly though, I wouldn't choose to buy this. Wasn't for me. Sorry Innis from Black Isle and Maria who might be dead but is probably married.